Today, I posted this in Instagram and FB. My eldest son, a second year high school student in Ateneo, belongs to the Honors Section. (They're popularly called A-Boys because they're in Section A). There is only one Honors Section (out of 15 sections). Because lessons are more advanced and the boys are subjected to more stringent requirements than the regular sections, it is a mean feat to be in the Honors Section.
For the first term of this year, my son got Third Honors. The year before, he got First Honors. I also posted a pic in Instagram and FB when my son got First Honors. In other words, I treat both achievements the same way.
To me and my husband, there is no difference between getting First Honors and Third Honors, so long as our son applies the same 100% dedication and efforts. You see, what we aim to recognize is the efforts that go into achieving something. If my son tells me that he put his 100%, then I am satisfied. The result (first honors or third honors) is not that important.
I'm writing about this today because my recent post elicited reactions, accusations even, that I consider getting Third Honors as a failure (i.e., not good). This seems to be a case of misunderstanding what I meant to impart in my post, so I'm taking this opportunity to explain.
I think the misunderstanding stems from the fact that we are trained to see failure as something bad. We see failure as the opposite or absence of success. "We fail to get the highest honors therefore we are not good."
When my son got "only" Third Honors, he considers it a "failure". I had to tell him that to me, there are no "failures", only opportunities. I consider his achievement a success given that he told me he gave his 100% dedication. To me, failure or not achieving what we set out to do (even after giving everything we've got) is not bad. It is actually good. It provides the backdrop for self knowledge and the impetus for self improvement. Contrary to what we're trained to believe, failure is not the opposite or absence of success. It is mediocrity, or putting in just or barely adequate efforts (as opposed to giving one's all or 100%) that is the opposite of success.
When one gives not his all but only the minimum, barely adequate efforts, that is mediocrity. Mediocrity (in our lingo, "pwede na") robs one of her full potential; of chances for success.
My son told me he gave his all last term and he got Third Honors. I'm my book, he is successful and I am proud of him.
(For more about why failure is good for you, see article of Marisa Taylor entitled "In Praise of Failure")
